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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293219">Careful What You Wish For</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mathildia/pseuds/mathildia'>mathildia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>What We Do in the Shadows (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hypnosis, M/M, Sex Pollen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:22:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,095</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293219</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mathildia/pseuds/mathildia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Guillermo used to jerk off to a very specific, and <i>bullet-proof</i> fantasy of Antonio Banderas as The Vampire Armand, fucking him, biting him and turning him. But lately he’s been thinking about the strange throaty grunt Nandor makes when he comes, and its awkward and he shouldn’t but when he tries it the Armand fantasy doesn’t seem to work anymore.</p>
  <p>And then, one night it does, but it isn’t Armand fucking him, it’s Nandor. He comes hard, he comes so hard he sits bolt upright in bed, shaking with shock and pleasure. </p>
  <p>He doesn’t know what to do.</p>
</blockquote>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Careful What You Wish For</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElAurianBarkeep/gifts">ElAurianBarkeep</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Just finish me off before you go, Guillermo.”</p><p>Nandor is just lying in his coffin, hands on his chest, barely making eye contact as he speaks. </p><p>Guillermo takes a hard breath in through his nose and pushes up the sleeve of his sweater. “Very good, Master.” And he opens Nandor’s robes.</p><p>This started with Lilith. But he can get all the vampire semen he promised her just jerking Nandor off once a week. Nandor likes it most mornings now. Guillermo wipes most of the vampire semen up with a wash cloth and rinses it under the sink.</p><p>After that’s done, he gets on with his chores. Dawn is breaking when he starts it’s mid-morning when he goes to bed.</p><p>The thing, about jerking Nandor off, is that now, when he touches himself, he thinks about it. </p><p>Guillermo used to jerk off to a very specific, and <i>bullet-proof</i> fantasy of Antonio Banderas as The Vampire Armand, fucking him, biting him and turning him. But lately he’s been thinking about the strange throaty grunt Nandor makes when he comes, and its awkward and he shouldn’t but when he tries it the Armand fantasy doesn’t seem to work anymore.</p><p>And then, one night it does, but it isn’t Armand fucking him, it’s Nandor. He comes hard, he comes so hard he sits bolt upright in bed, shaking with shock and pleasure. </p><p>He doesn’t know what to do.</p>
<hr/><p>When he wakes Nandor that morning, he can barely look at him. He looks down, blushing a hard red. He doesn’t say anything about what’s happened and if Nandor notices any change in him he doesn’t say anything.</p><p>Who is he kidding? Of course Nandor doesn’t notice anything. Why would he notice. He barely speaks to Guillermo and goes out hunting without him.</p><p>Guillermo feels so hurt and rejected he has to remind himself that Nandor didn’t <i>actually</i> fuck him, he just fantasised about it. It’s not something he want’s to happen.</p>
<hr/><p>Laszlo and Nadja and in the living room. He doesn’t really expect them to notice him, but when he wanders in to despondently dust the mantlepiece, Laszlo says, “Why so maudlin old chap?”</p><p>He doesn’t have a chance to answer before Nadja says, “Don’t worry, darling, I will hypnotise him so he tells me what it is.” And then he doesn’t have a chance to say more than, “No don’t, don’t…” Before she’s done it and he finds himself saying. “<i>I want Nandor to fuck me.</i>”</p><p>“<i>Re-ally</i>?” Laszlo looks Guillermo up and down. “I assumed he already fucked you. Isn’t that you’re whole deal? He’s fucking you stupid every night.”</p><p>“We thought that was why you were so stupid, Gizmo,” says Nadja.</p><p>“Look,” Guillermo says, “First of all, your mesmerising powers didn’t work right because, no, I don’t want Nandor to <i>fuck</i> me I want him to <i>bite</i> me. It must have come out as fuck for some reason. And second, of all, he doesn’t fuck me. It’s not like that between us. No.” He pauses, then adds quietly. “I just jerk him off. For the witches.”</p><p>“Well, there you are then,” says Laszlo. “What’s the problem if you are jerking him off on the regular?”</p><p>“That is hardly the same, is it?” says Nadja. “Would you be happy if I just jerked you off on the regular?”</p><p>“I’d be delighted,” says Laszlo with a knowing flourish. </p><p>Nadja puts a hand over Laszlo’s mouth and leans forward to Guillermo. “Oh you silly billy. Gizmo, he is only joking. We have regular sexual intercourse.”</p><p>Laszlo peels Nadja’s hand away from his face to say, “Indeed.” Followed by, “I don’t know why Nandor hasn’t fucked you though. Have you asked him? He fucked me when I asked.” </p><p>Nadja gasps dramatically. “You told me he took you by force.” She leans to Guillermo again. “And I find the through of that very erotic.”</p><p>Guillermo shifts awkwardly </p><p>“Well,” Laszlo says, “it was a grey area because I <i>was</i> hypnotised. But I did ask. Although I was compelled so to do. But realistically, I would have have asked if I hadn’t been hypnotised. But he’d gone to all that trouble, so I went along with it.”</p><p>“Huh,” says Nadja. “He didn’t go to that trouble for me. He just asked if he could fuck me and I obviously said yes because, well, I had nothing else to do. And he is actually quite good at it.”</p><p>“Yes,” Laszlo agrees, “yes he is.”</p><p>Guillermo finds he is holding onto the mantlepiece very tightly. He clears his throat. “Well actually I am not interested in how good he is at it,” he says as casually as he can. “So, er, you two have both had sex with Nandor? Have you?”</p><p>“Of course we have Gizmo,” Nadja throws her arms wide in a flurry of lace and that damp smell she has. “We have orgies and all manner of casual sexual encounters all the time. We’re vampires.” </p><p>A voice behind Guillermo at the door. “I have also had sex with Nandor.”</p><p>He turns around as Nadja says, “You, Colin Robinson I do not think so.”</p><p>“I have,” says Colin Robinson. “He put his cock in my mouth in a desperate attempt to stop me talking. It worked, actually, but he has not tried it again.”</p><p>Nadja lets out a frustrated scream. “That is <i>not</i> the kind of sex we are talking about. Obviously Guillermo has sucked Nandor’s dick. It is part of his duties as a familiar.”</p><p>“Bite me,” Guillermo says angrily. “I want him to bite me. Everyone keeps forgetting that.” And he storms out hoping that will be an end to the matter.</p>
<hr/><p>But people talk. And vampires talk. And specifically Nadja talks to Lilith. And next time she sees Guillermo she tells him she has an idea.  </p><p>“I will strike a deal with you, human.”</p><p>“Is it a deal to get vampire semen?</p><p>“Yes,” Lilith says with a playful smile. “How did you know?</p><p>“It’s always that, Lilith. You come here once a month and try and offer me a new deal for more vampire semen. I don’t think I can extract more.” Thats a lie of course, but he sometimes worries what Lilith would do if he let her have access to all the semen he washes away.</p><p>“Oh, but you could,” Lilith says, “If your master is reluctant, you could give him this.” In a flash of magical sparks she produce and small bottle. </p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“An elixir that will make him insatiable. I haven’t offered it to you before because it’s quite dangerous and I would worry he might kill you if you resisted, but as you want him to…”</p><p>“Wait, wait,” Guillermo holds up a finger. “I want him, to bite me.”</p><p>Lilith cocks her head. “Yes but when you say that you are talking about sex, right. You mean it euphemistically.”</p><p>“What? Why would I? No. I want him to bite me. Stick his teeth in my neck.”</p><p>“And when you say in your neck you mean in your…”</p><p>“Neck. I mean my neck.” He points to it.</p><p>Lilith looks confused but puts the bottle in Guillermo’s hands. “Well take it anyway. Be sure and collect the semen.”</p><p>“I not going to use…” Guillermo begins, but she’s gone.</p>
<hr/><p>Well he does take it and he shouldn’t because inevitably he ends up leaving it in Nandor’s room and walks in late one evening to find Nandor holding the empty bottle, clearly having drunk the entire contents.</p><p>Guillermo snatches the bottle. “That is mine. Why did you drink it?”</p><p>Nandor looks at him guiltily. “I thought it was hot sauce.”</p><p>Guillermo doesn’t know where to start. “Okay, first of all, you don’t eat so why would you want hot sauce, and second of all, even humans, who do eat, do not just <i>drink</i> a bottle of hot sauce.” He raises a questioning eyebrow.</p><p>“Well,” says Nandor awkwardly. “It looked like it was fun. See the engraving on the bottle. Of people having fun.”</p><p>Guillermo peers at the bottle Nandor is holding out. He hadn’t paid it much attention before. “Fun? That is an engraving of two people having sex and one of them is in clear distress.” </p><p>“So, I can’t have my own ideas of fun?”</p><p>“This one is screaming.” Guillermo points at the smaller figure, the one pinned under the other’s body. “And clearly trying to get away.”</p><p>Nandor makes a huffing sound. “Don’t kink shame me Guillermo.”</p><p>“How do you know that…? Never mind. Master, that is an aphrodisiac. You just drunk an aphrodisiac.”</p><p>Nandor doesn’t seem to be listening. His eyes are glassy. He looks at Guillermo with a strange grin on his face and says, “I feel strange.”</p><p>A sensation, probably fear, zips through Guillermo. “Strange how, Master?”</p><p>“It’s hard to know how to put it.” Another smile. Or maybe the first one growing wider and weirder. Nandor’s voice drops. “I’ve never noticed how seductive you are.”</p><p>“Master?”</p><p>“You love calling me that don’t you. You little slut., I know you wear that sweater to entice me. Take it off.” </p><p>“Take it off so I don’t entice you.”</p><p>Nandor is suddenly very close, running a finger down Guillermo’s enticing-sweater-covered-chest. Guillermo’s back is to the wall.“I want to see your body, Guillermo.” Nandor coos. “Don’t make me compel you.”</p><p>Guillermo isn’t sure what to do. He should refuse. He should. He... <i>doesn’t</i>.  “Alright, alright. Step back a bit.”</p><p>Nando gives Guillermo just enough space to take his sweater off. And his shirt, before he shoves him back against the wall. Hands slide around his bare flank and over his ass. <i>Squeezing</i> </p><p>“<i>Master</i>,” Guillermo yelps.</p><p>But Nandor ignores this, whispering in his ear. “How many dicks have you taken in this ass, Guillermo?”</p><p>“I don’t want to tell you that, Master,” Guillermo stammers as Nandor nuzzles his neck</p><p>“Do I have to hurt you to make you answer my question?” Nandor says to his skin. “I have the ability to inflict pain on you by thinking it.”</p><p>“Hurt me, Master.?Why would you? Wait, what, you have what power? Why?”</p><p>“To make you obey me and also for my own deviant pleasure.”</p><p>“Right so, wait. It was a question, right. Should you, and…” Suddenly Guillermo’s skin is <i>on fire</i>. He <i>howls</i>.</p><p>He swears he hears Nandor groan with pleasure, say, "Oh, yes. Suffer. Very nice."</p><p>A moment later, when he knows where he is, Nandor is lifting his chin. Guillermo is sweating. He blinks at Nandor.</p><p>Softly, Nandor says, “How many?”</p><p>“What,” Guillermo says, dumb. The pain is gone but he can still feel the ghost of it on his skin. His dick is hard - <i>wait, why?</i> - but he manages a mechanical sounding, “Two, Master. Two. My collage boyfriend, we tried it, and a man a met at a club one time who didn’t really, I guess, didn’t take no for an answer.”</p><p>Nandor is still smiling like a cat. “Did you enjoy it?”</p><p>“Not really, its never been my thing.”</p><p>“But you want <i>me</i> to fuck you? Your Master. Everyone keeps telling me so.” And a hand, <i>Nandor’s hand</i>, slips between Guillermo’s legs. It feels so good it makes Guillermo feel ill. Worse when he bears down, <i>grinds</i> against it. This isn’t right, he’s a familiar <i>and</i> a vampire hunter, he should not want to fuck vampires. He despises people who fuck vampires. From two different angles.</p><p>But he's moaning, thrusting as Nandor rubs him through his pants and he manages, “No, Master, no. I want you to bite me.”</p><p>“Ah, I see.” Nandor leans in and places a soft, closed-mouthed kiss on the skin of Guillermo’s neck. “You want to be forced. Am I right? You want a sexy role play?”</p><p>“No, no, Master.”</p><p>Guillermo moans this but he's still rubbing his erection against Nandor's hand. He tries to stop.</p><p>“Ah you are already into it.”</p><p>“No, I’m saying no for real, Master. Please.” </p><p>He tries to stop.</p><p>“I did not know you were such a good actor Guillermo. This is so convincing. I love it. Would you like to try and run away. And when I catch you, I will rape you.”</p><p>“Please <i>don’t</i>,” Guillermo says, but it comes out broken, like a sob and he sounds like he <i>does</i> want it.

</p><p>“You little tease,” Nandor says, pulling back and spinning Guillermo so he can shove him away from him. “Go on. Run.”</p><p>Guillermo does run, but not out of the door, into the room, around Nandor’s coffin. By the time he reaches the far wall, Nandor is in front of him, grabbing him, laughing. “Got you. Take off your fucking pants.” </p><p>Guillermo squirms in Nandor’s arms. He feels - <i>God</i> - so alive. He’s saying, “No. No.” And he doesn’t mean it, but it’s fun to say it. It’s fun knowing Nandor <i>won’t</i> stop.</p><p>Nandor shoves him up against the wall and slaps his face. Guillermo gasps.  “Saying no is getting boring no Guillermo. Stop it.”</p><p>“No…” he begins, but then says, “Yes, Master.” And Nandor kisses him.

And it’s… <i>fuck</i>. Nandor kisses him so deep and good, tongue forced hard into his mouth, hands on his face, holding him in place and holding him up as he melts for it.

Guillermo hears himself moan. Moan like he’s waited for this kiss for ten years. 

Nandor laughs into his mouth and pulls back, nipping Guillermo’s bottom lip. “Take off your pants.”
</p><p>“Yes, Master.” He sounds shaky.</p><p>He does. He takes off his pants and his underwear. He stands in his socks. Dick wet against his belly. </p><p>Nandor is gazing at him, delighted. “You want me to fuck you, Guillermo.”</p><p>“Yes. No. I don’t… Master, have you compelled me?”</p><p>Nandor’s tongue plays over his lips. “Maybe. Maybe not. Get into my coffin and see how compelled you feel.”</p><p>Guillermo cannot tell if he is helpless in the prison of his body, watching himself climbing into Nandor’s coffin, or if he’s just, climbing into Nandor’s coffin, dick hard and ready, breath hitching. </p><p>Nandor is on top of him. Nandor is saying, “I do not fuck humans often because when I fuck humans I usually end up turning them into a vampire in a fit of passion.”</p><p> </p><p>Guillermo feels a jolt of… desire? Excitement? “Sorry, Master. What? You turn the humans you fuck into vampires.”</p><p>“<i>Yesss</i>,” Nandor hisses with another of his sinister smiles. “Guillermo, you sexy bitch, let’s do it.”</p><p>“Master, I,” Guillermo is on his back looking up at Nandor, straddling his waist as he pulls off his robes. As he bares his chest, Guillermo’s mouth goes very dry. His hips are bucking up like they’re not part of him. Guillermo realises he’s trailing a finger over his neck like a invitation. “Actually, Master. I would like to. Er, be fucked. I would.”</p><p>Nandor shoves off his breeches. “Yes. This is what everyone says.” And he’s naked. Nandor is naked on top of him and Guillermo cant think. He can feel Nandor’s dick hard against his thigh. It is very big. </p><p>Nandor strokes Guillermo’s face. “Open your legs and you will experience everything I do as pleasure.”</p><p>Guillermo’s mind gets even cloudier. </p><p>The fucking seems to go easy. Nandor doesn’t spare any time to prepare him. It just happens and Nandor feels big but it doesn’t hurt. He feels it as pleasure as he was told.</p><p>
  <i>Compelled, probably. Is he being compelled now?</i>
</p><p>Another part of him feels it as painful. But it’s a distant part. <i>Nandor the Relentless</i> he thinks as he is fucked so hard his body shifts up and down in the coffin, legs spread sluttily wide, one of them slung right out, over the coffin’s side. “Nandor,” he moans. Of course he wants it.</p><p>“Bite me,” he begs. Mind full of it. Wild with desire, rolling his head. “Bite me, Master. Bite me.” </p><p>Nandor laughs and licks a wide wet stripe up Guillermo’s neck. He whines. “Maybe I will if you writhe harder. I like the way you move. So greedy for it.”</p><p>Nandor lifts his hips and spreads his legs wider. “Like this, Master?” God Nandor’s dick feels so good. <i>Doesn’t it?</i> He’s crying. Tears on his cheeks. Nandor is a big shape over him. So wide and heavy, bare arms caging his shoulders. Hair falling down onto him. </p><p>“Good, Guillermo. Very good.” Nandor’s teeth glitter.</p><p>Guillermo stares at those teeth and starts to babble. “Please Master, please bite me. Please let me be a vampire.” He wants is so much. He’s never wanted anything like he wants this.</p><p>Nandor thrusts get harder, deeper. His eyes are lust lidded. He is staring at Guillermo’s neck, but he says, pants. “You have to wait Guillermo. I don’t think you are ready.”</p><p>Guillermo bucks up sliding himself, deeper, onto Nandor’s dick. So desperate. <i>Fuck</i>. He doesn’t know where he is. “Master, please, god, fuck, please. <i>Please.</i>”</p><p>He can feel Nandor shivering on top of him. “Say that again. Beg again. I love it.”</p><p>Guillermo does. He is sobbing and he begs again, “Please, Master. Bite me please. Bite me and fuck me. Fuck me.”</p><p>“That’s what you really want, isn’t it?” Nandor says. “Touch yourself, Guillermo. Touch your dick and tell me how much you want this.”</p><p>Guillermo is lost to it. To all of it. He has nothing left. He curls a fist around his own <i>weeping</i> dick and sobs, “Yes. I’ve always wanted this. Always. Sometimes I didn’t know whether I wanted to be your familiar or your…” He trails off into gasping. His fist is so tight and good. Nandor’s dick feels so big and good. He’s so full, and god it burns it <i>hurts</i> and that’s good too. </p><p>“My bitch,” Nandor says, with an extra hard, extra deep thrust that sends Guillermo first seeing stars and then, oh, suddenly, he’s coming. </p><p>Coming as Nandor laughs and spits on his offered neck as he starts to come too, deep in Guillermo’s ass, just after he gasps out, “Sometimes, though, sex is even better without the bite.”</p><p>... ...</p><p>Guillermo feels like he’s woken up suddenly from a bad dream. Under Nandor he suddenly feels it all. Pain, humiliation, betrayal. Nandor’s come in his ass. He looks up at Nandor and says, “Master. Did you just rape me?”</p><p>Nandor strokes Guillermo’s cheek. “Don’t be silly, Guillermo. You were desperate for it. As usual.”</p>
<hr/><p>Later, after Guillermo has limped off to bed, Nandor turns to the shocked camera crew.</p><p>“I’ve actually fucked him many times. I just wipe his mind so he doesn’t get clingy.”</p>
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